Of Old Friends and SurfBoards
by EmpressOfEvilBunnies
Summary: When the Akatsuki have to move to Florida, they need a place to stay. What better place than an old friend's of Kisame's? Rated for language and some suggested themes. AkaSaku
1. Who?

"Fuck No"

An exasperated sigh escaped the 17 year old, "Just shut up and accept it. Leader says that we have to."

Hidan's facial expression was priceless. Kakuzu pondered on taking a snapshot and selling it on eBay and to his fangirls. Actually, that sounded quite appealing right now…

"I'm not going to some hellhole with you shitheads just for damn business!" He screamed, his arms flailing around like a caught goose trying to extricate its self. He liked New York; Florida was out of the question!

"Don't make me kill you, Hidan."

"Like you could; wuss." Hidan crossed his arms and turned to look around the base for Leader. The whole gang, excluding Zetsu and Tobi, were currently there. The base was actually just a 2 floored house Pein was able to get seeing as though he was the only child and his parents passed away quite some time ago.

'_Stupid MotherFucker… Thinks he can control me.. I swear to Jashin I'll sacrifice him.. and have his Bitch watch him suffer. Yeah, some god _he_ is!' _Thought the enraged Jashinist as he made his way past the kitchen in which Kisame and Deidara were hanging out. He heard a hearty laugh coming from Kisame, and he had a nagging feeling in the back of his head and in his gut that told him the laugh was directed at him.

Hidan whipped his head around to glare at the astoundingly tall and shark-like teen.

"What?" He seethed.

"Easy, un. Kisame says that he came from Florida. He's just telling me about his 'sister' there, un. She seems cute." Deidara said, fingering the clay in his palm absentmindly.

Whoa whoa, WAIT. _SISTER_. Fish-face has a sister? Hidan voiced his thoughts.

Kisame rolled his eyes, "Not literally, dude. She's just someone I grew up with. We were both different, she's from my childhood. Last time I saw her was in freshman year."

"Huh. Cute, eh?" Maneuvering his gaze to the artist.

"Guess so, un. Kisame says so."

Hidan raised a silver (silver, not gray, dammit!) eyebrow at Kisame, pushing him to explain.

"Well, like I said she's quite different. Not too tall. Probably shorter than Deidara by half an inch by now. Total nerd, that girl, I swear; she's all about the brains. Proud of it, too. She's really sweet, and I'm sure you guys'll like her, but she's got a nasty temper, too. Very, _very_ violent. She's got a lot of super-cool moves taught to her by Yours Truly," insert saucy wink here, plz, "You'll all get to know her better once we get there; there are a lot of things about her that I can't explain."

"That's not fuckin hot!"

"I said she was CUTE, un! Not HOT! I just wish you'd pay attention sometimes, un!"

"Whatever…"

"Anyways, I called her up. We're staying at her place, seeing as though I sold my house."

Itachi chose that time to walk in, "Whats her name?"

Kisame looked up from his drink, "Hm? Oh, Sakura Haruno."


	2. Swimsuits and CONFIDENCE!

**Disclaimer: **Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto(c).

* * *

"I think I've read about that clan. They're pretty much O.K. Pretty good in the business department, but they can obviously do better." Kakuzu added.

"Well that's her uncle. Her dad used to make surfboards and her mom was a gardener."

"Was?" Deidera straightened his hunched back to look the teenager in his eyes, consequently halting his procedure of making a falcon.

Kisame nodded after taking a sip of his soda water, "They passed away probably half a decade ago."

"So she's fucking emo, then?" Hidan offered.

Kisame, who was drinking, choked and spit out the substance in surprise.

"HAHAHAHA! NO WAY, DUDE!" Kisame's breathing evened out a bit and he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his gray shirt, "Sakura? Emo? Sakura beating _up_ someone emo? Yes. Sakura _being_ emo? When I," He jabbed a finger to his well toned and _blue _(shmexy!^^) chest, "sprout wings and fly."

"When are we leaving?" Sasori shoved Deidera not-so-nicely away from the fridge and opened said abused and old machine before reaching in and pulling out a can of Coke. He looked over to Kisame, waiting for his answer.

Kisame shrugged in response, "Dunno. Go ask Konan, she knows everything."

"There's no need for that."

They all whipped their heads behind them, as to see their Leader across the counter; the amazing-ness of open kitchens.

"We'll be leaving after tomorrow at 9:00 a.m, our plane's at…"Pein looked at Kakuzu with slight confusion.

"12:05" was his gruff reply.

"Very well then. Zetsu, Konan and myself will be taking the car. The rest of you should go pack up." As he was about to walk towards the stairs with all means to ascend to his study, Hidan jumped in front of him.

"Why do we have to go? I like New York! Sure, we're low on a lot of things! Like, parking space, and warmer temperatures, and-"

"Girls in swimsuits."

Hidan stopped abruptly to look at the interruption, only to look at Pein straight in the face.

"What?"

"I said, New York was short on girls in swimsuits."

…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR YA LITTLE SHITFACED-BITCHES? PACK UP SO WE CAN FUCKIN HAUL ASS! MOVE IT! WE'RE GOING TO FLORIDA! AND WE'RE GOING **NOW**! DAMMIT!"

And with hands fisted in the air, and purple-ish eyes blazing with determination, Hidan stomped to the TV Room to collect the keys to his Chevrolet Corvette.

Deidera, after recovering from the small bruises decorating his right side thanks to his best friend, also walked away to accompany Hidan with a sigh.

Pein merely shook his head slightly, nodded to his comrades, and, as planned, ascended to his study.

**Miami, Florida**

"YO FOREHEAD! GET YOUR PETITE ASS OVER HERE! I WANNA HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!" Ino called for said 'forehead' to come with a smile on her amazing face.

'_Why can't _I_ have a pretty face like that?'_

'**Because, only people from 4 categories get faces like that; *Snobby Blondes *Whores *Our friend *And that girl Kisame was checking out at our vacation to SeaWorld. The one with the halter bikini. **Inner answered, as Sakura made her way to Pig.

'_Stupid categories...'_

"Hey." Sakura waved as she put down her skateboard, pushed up the sleeves of her zip-up aeropostale hoodie, and plopped down on one of the barstools. She leaned on the counter as she unconsciously spun the stool left to right.

"You heard?" Ino asked as she sipped from her banana-strawberry smoothie, "Kiba's single."

An elegant pink eyebrow arched a bit, "Since when?"

"Ever since he broke up with Hinata, that's when!"

"…Yes, and this catches my attention like a heap of gold because…?"

Ino let out an annoyed sigh, "Be_cause_ I want him to ask me out!"

"Ino, he has a _dog_."

Ino opened her mouth to say something, and just froze. She soaked up what her friend had just told her then closed her mouth. Her eyes wide open.

"Oh my god..." it was barely over a whisper, "you're right…he _does_ have a dog. Sakura! What do I **DO**?" Ino grabbed her head in frustration and helplessness as she leaned forward to lay her head in Sakura's lap. But missed, and it hit the counter, and, after a long moan of pain, she slowly and very carefully maneuvered her head to its desired position.

Sakura pet Ino's head lovingly, "Its easy, you just get Akamaru to warm up to you, you know, get him treats, pet him, and then you get _Kiba _treats, and you cook for him. The rest you can handle. You _are_ the Queen of Seduction, right?"

Ino leaped up in joy, and quickly scrambled up and above the counter, simultaneously pushing her smoothie to the ground, and widened her legs with her hands on her hips and her nose in the air.

Then, with her left hand, pointed outward and spoke, quite loudly if I might say, the words of a confident teenager.

"SAKURA! YOU ARE A **GENIUS**! YOU ARE 100%-O CORRECT-O! I _CAN_ GET THE MAN OF MY DREAMS! I_WILL_ GET A NEW MANICURE! AND I _**SHALL **_DRAG MYSELF TO THE MALL AND GET A NEW BIKINI BECAUSE I **AM** THE QUEEN OF SEDUCTION!" And I may also include the butt swaying as she said this.

Ino let out a heap of air before hopping down to the floor gracefully and hugging Sakura.

The song 'Now I'm that chick' by Livvi Frank came on.

"Oops. My phone!" The energetic blonde grabbed her handbag and finally found the wanted item.

"Yeallo?" … "Oh! Hey!" … "I _know_, right?" … "W-Huh?" … "Oh! Haha! No, I'm at the smoothie bar with Forehead." … "Sorry, we're about to go." … "When? How about in ½ an hour?" … "Alright then, Kin's place at 4:00?" … "Forehead, what time is it?"

"3:15"

"So, yeah! Kin's at 4:00!" …. "Ok, bye!"

"Who was that?"

"It was Zaku. He wants to surprise Kin, and I offered to help. Wanna come?"

"Meh, I don't do well with Romance."

"Alright then, thanks for everything, Sakura. Bye!" And with that, Ino in all her short-shorts and T-shirt glory ran off.


	3. Water, manwhores, and skyscrapers

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is rightfully owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

**Mwahahaha! Did you see her face when we stated the 'Dog Fact'? **Inner cackled.

'_Haha, yeah. That was funny. But now she's got a better view on things, right?'_

**I still think a guy with a dog and messy hair is **_**our**_** thing. **Inner reasoned, _**We**_**'re the tomboys, not **_**her**_**. She's practicaly a Barbie Doll you can get from Toys R Us!**

'_You're such a jerk! Anyways, I havent been in a relationship since 7__th__ grade! I don't wanna go back to that. When I'm ready to get married, ill date. Ok?'_

**Yeah, yeah. **Inner sighed, **When you're old and ugly and you cant get any guys , like we can now with our gleaming eyes, over-sized forehead-**

'_Which we've grown into!'_

**-nice ass and C-cup boobs, you'll regret all of this. Trust me.**

'_Oh, shut it! Hey! Lets go get coffee!'_

**Mocha!**

'_Chocolate Milk!'_

**Cappachino!**

'_Ill just get some water.'_

Sakura sighed, _'Water it is'_.

Just then her butt vibrated, and she swore to Kami that she wasn't farting.

"…_just get uuuup! – Let's start a riot! RIOT! – Let's start a riot!-"_

Shoot, that was her phone! Sakura stuck her hand into her back pocket and answered, "Hello?"

"_Hey, Kitten."_

"Oh! Fish-Face! Wassup?"

"_Nothing much. Just wanted to tell you that our plane's landing sometime after tomorrow around noon."_

"Great! Thank Kami, I thought I was gonna have to wait 'till like midnight or something. Planes do that, you know."

"_Yeah.. Hey listen! Are you sure you have enough room for ten? Because, you don't like cramped areas."_

"Trust me, Kisame. I've grown up with guys my whole life! I have enough room, don't worry, I know how the sleeping patterns work in a guy's head. But wait, you're not _all_ freakishly tall, right?"

"_Huh? Oh, no don't worry, me and Kakuzu are the tallest. I can take your bed. I mean like you don't have to insist or anything." _She could _so_ hear that smug smirk in his tone.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Ill have a hard-as-rock pillow waiting for you in the yard shark-boy!"

Kisame laughed over the phone, _"I miss you, kitten."_

"I miss you, to-"

"_The hell dude? Hand it over!" _That sure as whoop-de-doo wasn't Kisame, _"Hidan! Get out of here and shut the hell up!" _Now THAT was her brother, _"I have important business with the bitch on the line!" _Hidan, she presumed.

"_I'll put her on speaker, then!" _

"_Hello? Sorry, Hidan's a pain in the ass."_

Sakura clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth, "No problem. He can share the back with you. I'm sure everyone else would love the extra room inside. Anyways, are you bringing your board with you?"

"_I don't think they'd let it through."_

"_Yeah they do, un. A cousin of mine once tried to take his surfboard to California. But it got all smashed up, un."_

"_Say hi to Deidera, Sakura."_

"Hi! Oh! By the way! Naruto bought me this sick sling-shot yesterday! Haha! I'm planning on beating the shit out of everyone with it; I'm going to use raspberries. I wanted to use those embalmed human toes from the voodoo shop just out of town, but they're _way_ too expensive, dammit."

"_I'll buy them for you, baby. Pay you 20 bucks to get that unemotional freak in the ass."_

"Sai? Or Sasuke? They're both unemotional good-for-nothing egotastical pains in the ass. Sai is $20, Sasuke is $150 for every 3 shots and $200 for the ones that get caught in his chicken-ass hairdo."

Kisame sheepishly scratched the back of his neck and wore a cheeky smile towards Itachi, _"Uhh..haha.. Sakura?" _Deidera and Hidan were chuckling. Sasori was smirking. Kakuzu's eyes held amusement.

"Yeah?"

"_Sasuke's brother is in the room. Speaker, remember?"_

"Well then, i'll send out a message for that Uchiha: GO JUMP IN A LAKE, MANWHORE!"

Deidera and Hidan both fell out of their seats laughing their heads off, Sasori was banging his hand on the coffee table trying to calm himself down, Kakuzu's shoulder's were shaking showing a silent laugh. And Itachi, oh Kami Itachi! He was en_raged_.

"_Sakura! Sasuke's older brother is _Itachi!"

"Itachi? I thought it was Shisui, the perv."

"_No, sweetheart, Itachi. The one that's really mad right now."_

"Oh, oops. Sorry Itachi. Thought you were that cousin of yours. I'll make you Hot Cocoa when you get here as an apology, and you better accept it or you, Kisame and Hidan are having a sleepover in my backyard." Sakura stradled the phone between her shoulder and her cheek as she picked up her skateboard and made her way to StarBucks Café in her black Converse and blue and green plaid knee-shorts. She pulled down the green tanktop that had risen up when she sat down which was beneath her gray zip-up aeropostale hoodie.

After streaming a hand through bright pink and short locks she waved said hand to Tenten, who was jogging around the block.

"_Cupcake? I gotta go. Ill see you in a day and a half, mmkay? Don't forget us! You got your license, right?"_

"Yeah, but I don't have a car, yet. I wanna get a nice smooth BMW. Or just stay car-less until I have enough cash to get a Bugatti or Ferrari. So either ill burrow Kankuro's Mercedes, or we get onto the bus."

"_Alright then, bye. Take care of yourself, Kitten."_

"Mmhm, later. See you soon."

And with that they hung up.

**New York City, New York**

"Dude! You just got _dissed_!" Hidan howled as he smacked Itachi on the back.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about that. She's not very fond of Uchihas." Kisame tried to calm Itachi down.

"Obviously," Sasori muttered.

"I like her already, un," Deidara grinned widely, thinking of all the black-mail they'd gather together.

"I'm going to pack." Was Itachi's smooth reply, as he got up from the loveseat he was sharing with Kakuzu and headed for the door.

Just at that moment, Zetsu strode in with an always hyperactive Tobi in tow.

"Whats wrong with Itachi?" Zetsu questioned, it was mostly aimed at Deidera, since he was the one to always attempt to annoy the Uchiha.

"It may seem as Kisame's sister, whom will house us in Florida, is quite a hater towards Uchihas." Sasori was the one who explained, "She was on speaker."

Zetsu nodded in understanding as Tobi hopped towards Deidera to 'tell Tobi's senpai how much fun it was to go downtown and see the big hugantic buildings with Zetsu.'

Deidera brushed Tobi off and told him to grow up, "We live in the Big Apple for goodness sake, un! Of course there's gonna be extremely tall skyscrapers!"

"Guys?" There was Konan at the doorway, pointing at the clock which was hung up on the wall, " Its 8:52. Pein wants you guys outta here so he can lock it up. He also says that you should all be ready after tomorrow by 8:30 a.m and we'll all meet up at the Subway. The one Hidan loves, you know around the corner?"

She got a handful of "Ok"s and "Whatever" along with a few nods.

Konan smiled politely, grabbed her coat from the coffee table then waved bye, "Later."

"I don't fucking like that bitch."

"I really don't see why, un. She's nice."

"So you _like _her?"

"Hu-Wh- Sh- NO! I said I didn't _hate _her,un! I don't_ like _her! God-"

"Jashin"

"-no, she's already with Leader, anyways, un."

Kakuzu sighed, "C'mon. Enough rambling, lets go."

They all got up, and, a few glares, cardoor slams, insults and 15 minutes later, the house was all locked up and the area around it clean of filthy Akatsuki members and their cars. It was almost peaceful.

Without them, of course.


	4. Imaginary ToDo Lists and WaterGuns

"**Oi! Wassup my beloved fans?!"**

**Sakura: What fans? You have fans?**

"**Shut up! T__T Dunn be mean!"**

**Sakura: I can swear to you, these are written for no apparent reason! No one reads **_**junk**_**. Especially by an authoress who pretty much **_**never **_**finishes her stories!**

***Locks Sakura up in a Tweety-Bird cage* *Laughs nervously as Sakura thrashes around in cage***

"**I don't know whats gotten into her! She's just probably going through that 'Mental Illness' phase the doctor talked about.."**

**Sakura: DOCTOR?! IF ANYONE NEEDS A DOCTOR, ITS ****YOU****, YOU LITTLE B-!**

***Stuffs rag into her mouth, creeps out of weird room that all of this is happening in, locks door, and sits on a fluffy black couch with red clouds on it***

"**I would love to thank everyone who has Read, Reviewed, Faved or even looked at the title then said, 'Nah'. You have all motivated me so much. But, unfortunately, my 3****rd**** quarter exams are quite soon, and hopefully ill publish an A/N saying so when they do come, so at that time I most likely wont be uploading a lot. Please enjoy. And, oh! By the way, a Beta-reader is someone who goes over your work, and corrects anything that is mispelled or needs better grammar, etc. right? Cause if that's the case, id **_**love**_** to have one! Ill feed you cookies! So, **If anyone is interested or knows someone who wants to be a Beta, please PM me, and we can converse about it. Thank you.**"**

**Disclaimer: **_I, Paligirl101, do not own the anime _Naruto _or the manga. The characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, however the plot is mine. Oh, I own so little.._

Before

_Kakuzu sighed, "C'mon. Enough rambling, let's go."_

_They all got up, and, a few glares, car door slams, insults and 15 minutes later, the house was all locked up and the area around it clean of filthy Akatsuki members and their cars. It was almost peaceful._

_Without them, of course._

Now

**Miami, Florida**

As Sakura walked home in the warm night, she brought her hand up to read her MOVADO watch.

9:01

She sighed. _Well, _she thought, _time to mentally write down our To-Do List. Shall we, Inner?_

**Yup yup, **Inner chirped as she sat down on her imaginary purple beanie bag and pulled out her imaginary red pen. She got ready to write the imaginary words on the imaginary paper. It was quite imaginary in Sakura's head.

_Okie Dokie, first thing on To-Do list: doing stupid things in head in order to watch the end of the sunset._

Sakura halted in her steps, and looked up. Beautiful meshes of purple, orange and blue surrounded what was left of the sun. Then it was gone.

**Check. **

_2. Wake up tomorrow at 8:00a.m and have a delicious breakfast._

_3. Cl-_

**WHAT?! EIGHT IN THE **_**MORNING**_**?! ARE YOU ****INSAAAAAAANE???!!!?! XO**

_We have things to do tomorrow! Now zip it! Anyways,_

_3. Clean up the house._

_4. Get groceries for 10 _guys _and me._

_5. Check on Ino. I need Gossip. And gossip is good. Yeah, no better person to go to for info than Ino. (While doing this, try to have some lunch)_

_6. Filter the pool. (TRY TO DO THIS WITH A BAG OF CHIPS!)_

_7. SLING-SHOT TSUNAMI!!_

_8. Go to the basketball court and shoot some hoops with Temari and Tenten around 6:00._

_9. Get coffee and a _big chocolate fudge _cookie from Starbucks._

_10. Go home, wash up. Sleep. Or watch TV then sleep._

_11. Wake up next morning around 8-9. Again. _

_12. Do the laundry. Eat while smacking washer to get it working. Repeat with dryer. _

_13. Go pick up Kisame (FISH-FACE! :3) and his friends. (XP)_

_14. Glomp Kisame no matter how many stares you get._

_15. Attempt to accomplish #14 + dropping said victim to the ground._

_16. Remember to take a water gun with me to the airport._

_17. Spray Kisame with it._

_18….EAT._

**Nice… Are we gonna remember that? Cause I was too busy eating to write that down.**

_No, its ok. I already got it down._

Sakura looked down at the scribbling on the paper on her coffee table and yawned. As she stuck the List on the fridge with a magnet, she gazed at the picture frame hung on the wall.

It was a pretty old picture, really. But it was so joyful. In it, Kisame had her in a headlock in his swimming trunks. That stupid shark-like smirk on his face. She was in a yellow one-piece. Her face showed true frustration and happiness at the same time. Suigetsu, her neighbor, had taken the picture. They were about 11 in the picture, and the beach looked great behind them.

Heaving another sigh, the pink-haired teen jogged upstairs to her bedroom, changed into daisy-dukes and a tanktop, then comfortably slid into her bed and fell asleep.

She'd have to look for that water gun Kotetsu got her.


	5. Going down the ToDo list

**Hello, dear readers. :3**

**I assume you're quite disappointed with the previous chapter, are you not?**

**Well, I was going to make it longer, but then I had to go to sleep, and I just wasn't comfortable to just save it and leave it undone. So I uploaded it.**

**Once again, thank you so much everyone that R&Red and/or Faved the story! **

**Woo! 15 reviews! I'm like a loser! My favorite stories have 200- something reviews! **

**Ok time to stop.**

**The offer for being a Beta still stands. According to the "Beta Guide" you have to have accomplished/ done the below:**

To register with the site as a beta-reader and offer your beta services, you must meet **ALL** the qualifications below. 

Be a registered member for at least 1 month or more. 

Must have published at least 5 stories on the site OR have published entries totaling at least 6000 words. 

Must accurately complete both the Profile and Preferences part of this beta section. 

**As the last A/N said, please PM me if you are interested or know someone who is.**

**Disclaimer: **_I, Paligirl101, do not own the anime or manga _Naruto. _Thank you._

**IMPORTANT:** This chapter is dedicated to _whitefang245 _ seeing as though she was the one who helped me go through the crisis of "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" and the "OMG'S!" and all the other unimportant things.

* * *

* * *

Before

_Heaving another sigh, the pink-haired teen jogged upstairs to her bedroom, changed into daisy-dukes and a tank top, then comfortably slid into her bed and fell asleep._

_She'd have to look for that water gun Kotetsu got her._

Now

_((Bleep-Bleep!))_

_((Bleep-Bleep!))_

_((Bleep-Bleep!))_

_((Bleeeee-EEP-Bleep!))_

_((Bleeeybuh…Bleybuh))_

_((Blee..ee..Bl..p))_

Slowly, the agitating Beeping died down to soft distressed moans, then to, finally, it all vanished.

Silence.

Sakura Haruno, as excited and enthusiastc she was about seeing her brother in less than 48 hours, was as annoyed as annoyed could _get_.

**Stupid Neighbors!**__Inner screeched, holding a fist in the air, **Cant they keep their stupid louder-than-normal music and irritating howls of laughter to themselves? At 2:00 a.m no less?!**

_Apparently, _no.

The usually vivacious teen groaned as she fell limp on the bed. Sakura licked her lips and tried desperatley to get her eyes to adjust.

Wrinkling her cute nose, she slowly sat upright with her arms behind her to balance herself. Yawning slightly, the tomboy moved her head into a position for her to get a nice view of her latest victim.

_Poor thing.._

And really, you couldn't blame her. The _thing_ was actually, once upon a time, an alarmclock.

Now it was..

Well, long story short, it had a close relationship with wall(even though plug missed plug-hole-thingy), then it had an On-and-Off affair with the door, then it took a vacation to Oven Mountain at 285 degrees, and lastly, went surfing in The Toilet Bowl at Bathroom Water Park. Where it is at the moment drowning in The Toilet Bowl, consequently closing that ride. Sorry kids, guess you'll have to wait 'till the manager calls the plumber.

Yeah, _right_.

Last time that happened, she got undressed and damn _raped_.

…

With his eyes of course. Ahem!

So, she'll just get Kisame into sticking his hand down her toilet and saving the remains of an alarmclock. Anyways, what time was it now? She set it for 8:00 A.M. And that cursed object has been beeping for _hours_. And-

8:04

_Nice. I freaked out on something that made a sound for less than a minute. _

**Eh? **

_Took us sometime to torture it._

**Ah, yes.. **Inner groaned.

"Alrighty then, _Kitten_. Lets get to work." And with that the now aroused girl got up and clumsily went down the stairs. Opening a light brown wooden cupboard took out a box of salted crackers, got a handful, and stuck them into her mouth. As she attempted to chew the contents, the box was put away and a green apple was being washed.

By the time she swallowed down ¾ the crackers, the apple was being carried towards the nonstopping machine of doom (read: her mouth).

Whilst biting through the fruit, Sakura pulled out her broom and cleaning utensils. 3 more bites later, and the fruit was gone. Strolling over to her fridge, she drank water from the bottle and then proceeded to take out a jar of peanut butter, a spoon and got the cordless phone.

Dialing the correct numbers, a lady's voice was heard on the other end of the line after a couple rings.

"Hello?"

"Miss Pawerson." The spoonful of peanut butter was comfortably put in her mouth.

"Ah, Sakura! Good morning! What can I do for you?"

"Awe ze twins buzzy?" Swallowing, Sakura dipped the spoon back into the jar for it to come back out mounted with the buttery goodness.

"Hm? Oh, Nadeshiko and Ayame? No, they're just playing dolls."

"Would they like an extra handful of wun dollaw biwwlz?" She had taken a bite half way through the sentence.

"Ahaha! I'm sure they'd love that! Whats it this time?"

"Cweaning."

"Alright then. Ill have them come right over. Thank you, Sakura. You're such a sweetheart!"

"I was gonna do it myself, but then I remembered that they said they wanted a new design for their room. So, I was all like, 'What the heck? Why not?'"

You could practically hear the smile on the lady's face, "Ok, Sakura. Bye."

"Bye" Tossing the spoon into the sink and putting the jar back in its place, a smiling Sakura softly sang to 'LoveGame' by Lady Gaga.

((Knock, Knock!))

"SAKURA!SAKURA!SAKURA!SAKU-!"

"Hey, girls." Sakura greeted as she opened the door, simultaneously silencing the 10 year olds who were now smiling like maniacs.

"Mom said you were going to give us-"

"Money!!" Ayame completed.

"And then we'd be able to-"

"Redesign our room!" Ayame, again.

Giggling lightly, Sakura nodded, "Alright, Nadeshiko, Ayame, I have things to do. So can you clean the house? Nothing too much, just simple dusting and brooming. Please vacuum as well."

"Sure!" That one was said by the two redheads at the same time. Brown eyes glimmering as they laughed.

"Okey Dokey, I'm gonna go get dressed. Goodluck!" Sakura then ran upstairs to her room.

10 minutes later, Sakura emerged from her room in black short shorts, an orange and purple striped tank top, Nike tennisshoes and a purple zip up jacket. Her hair was, as usual, down with a white clip putting her bangs in a puff. Teeth clean and face washed, Sakura descended the stairs, got her wallet, cellphone and sunglasses, stuffed them all into her back pockets, and left after bidding the girls goodbye.

AT THE GROCERY STORE

"Mornin' Sakura, that's a lot of food. Who're you expectin'?"

"Kisame's coming back. Him and a group of friends." Sakura smiled sweetly towards the salesman, an old man with gray hair and wrinkles.

"Oh? My, my. You two caused too much trouble for comfort before he left." The man put away her things as they conversed, "When're they getting here?"

"Tomorrow."

He nodded gently, "You participatin' in the SlingShot Tsunami today?"

"Mhmm, I always do." She gathered her belongings from the man.

"Well, then goodluck with that. And tell Kisame I say Hi, eh?"

"Thanks, and you can count on that Mr. Sarutobi!"

Sarutobi watched as she ran off. He put the money in the cash register before sighing.

Such a sweet girl, he thought. Lets just hope we can take the commotion when the two meet up again.

Sarutobi snickered as he remembered all the events and highlights that those two made in this place.

_With Sakura Haruno_

As Sakura, arms with 2 brown paper bags filled to the brim with groceries, jogged to the Mini-Market her but began to vibrate.

Again.

And she swore that she wasn't farting.

Again.

**Your phone, stupid.**

**Again!**

2-3 seconds later all that registered into her head and realization fell on her like a ton of bricks. Juggling with the groceries, she succeeded in pulling out her neon purple Sidekick LX and answering.

_Yay! Kate Possible!_

Inner rolled her eyes, _**Kim**_** Possible. **_**Kim**_**. You've been getting that wrong since **_**3**__**rd**__** Grade**_**, dammit!**

Ignoring Inner, the teen who was now standing in the middle of the sidewalk, with a bag of groceries in her left hand, a phone between her right shoulder and cheek, and a banana in her right hand trying to get everything back into their rightful spot: The _other _bag.

"H-hello?"

"Hey, blossoms!"

" 'Sup, Kiba?"

"Nothing really. Whatcha doin'?"

"Tr-trying to..Ngh! Trying to put the groceries back into the bag with-without..dropping the OTHE-ACK!"

"You ok there, princess?"

"Shit.. Yeah, I'm good. Thank Kami I didn't bruise anything. Hang on a minute, DogBoy. Ill get right back to ya."

"Alright."

Sakura put down the phone(gently, may I say. She used her own money on that, darn it!) and put everything away quickly, put them on a nearby bench, and scurried like a frightened rat to pull her phone to safety.

"Ok, I'm back. What do ya need?"

"Mm? Oh! I wanted to ask you, is Ino ok? She's been acting weird."

"Wei..rd? Like how?"

"Weird as in, she forgot to straighten her bang correctly, weird. As in she _tripped _in _heels_, weird. Like-like—Like she's gone a bit.. Like she's got a screw loose."

Sakura blinked a few times.

_Ohh..Inoo.._

Licking her lips, she asked the question of truth, "Kiba, are you single?"

"No. I got back with Hinata 3 hours after the break-up. It was a misunderstanding."

"Umm, I know Ino wouldn't like this. But I'm one of her best friends, so its ok. Kiba, Ino's been crushing on you for about 7 months now. She was so thrilled when you and Hina broke up, as mean as it sounds. But she seriously has a thing for you. Maybe you two getting back together was the trigger to what's happening?"

He cleared his throat over the line, "R-really?"

"_Yes_, really. I'm sorry, you and Hinata make a cute couple, I would hate for you to feel this way, but you asked. Look, ill talk to Ino, we'll sort this out. I'll just be ready with tissues and chocolate. O-"

"No! No- I-I I mean.. I.." He sighed, "Me and Hinata were _nothing_. She just wanted someone to be with so that she could prove to Neji that she was independent. All it was was a couple more 'get-togethers' without Shino and Lovey-Dovey talk in public. We're like best friends, I could _never _ touch Hinata. The thing is.. I have a _thing_ for Ino, too. Hinata knows about it. We 'Broke-Up' because I was caught flirting with some tourists. Tenten caught me and told Neji, so I had to end the relationship. Anyways, Hinata's into Naruto."

"So, you're not back together?"

"No, we're just normal friends. But we wanna stay 'together' for a couple more weeks, then BOOM, we'll end it all and be normal friends."

"Whoa.."

"But now I know everything. Thanks Kura! Ill talk to Ino and Hinata! Bye!"

"..Bye.." But he was long gone.

**Some Monologue! **Inner complained.

_Tell me about it!_


	6. Crushes, paychecks and flashbacks

**Umm..Hi? My midterms start on Sunday.**

_**This **_**Sunday. Sucks cacti, right?**

**But ill do my best to update! I told myself, I should really go back to my story, but then I was all like, 'Ok! But lets wat till I get 25 reviews, then I'll post it!' **

**But, I have not reached my goal. So, please know: I will not post the next chapter until I get 50 reviews.**

**Thank You everyone who read, reviewed, Faved, Alerted and/or enjoyed reading this! You have really, **_**really**_** boosted my motivation and are the reason as to why my confidence has taken a rather large leap!**

**I love you all!**

**Also, I believe its time I shared this to the part of the world that is aware of , and is currently reading this:**

Sakura member of Akatsuki-love **is **_**the**_** first ever person to review on Of Old Friends and Surfboards. (Which is this story, dearie. …Do YOU under-sTANd? *Blink Blink* …*Sigh* That's a 'no' right?) So, Thank You, love!**

**And I owe **whitefang245 **a big **_**HUG!**_** *Glomps white-y.*…*In such a way, white-y's beautiful head hit the floor.* *WHY ARENT YOU WAKIN UP?!***

**Sakura: YOU! *pant pant***

**AAHH!! *Pickes up spork* *Points spork at..at..that **_**thing**_*****

**Sakura: That **_**thing**_** is your favorite character! Which you have abandoned 2 chapters ago, you good-for-nothing authoress! I'm one of the main characters! Arent I supposed to have royal treatment, or **_**some**_**thing?!**

…

**What gave you that idea?**

**Sakura: *Points at Kakuzu who is at the moment sipping StarBucks coffee, at Hidan who is on the Internet researching jokes, Deidera who is sleeping on a couch, legs kicked up on the coffee table, and head tilted to the side slightly, Sasori who is reading a book, Itachi who is eating ice cream, Kisame who is getting a massage by some random lady, Pein who is writing and reading some business papers on a big desk, and Konan somewhere nearby folding a paper into a kitten.* **

**Where's Zetsu and Tobi?**

**Sakura: *points in other direction, where Zetsu and Tobi are playing a nice game of Uno***

**Hidan: Hey! Listen to this! Why's a math book always so sad?**

**Kisame: 'Cuz I threw it out the window last week?**

**Hidan: NO! 'Cuz its filled with problems!**

…

**That was gay.**

**Hidan: Yeah.. Yeah that was.. Here's another. Why cant a mexican play Uno? Because they might take the green card! Get it?**

**Yes, love. I get it. Now come here and cuddle with me, seeing as though you are just **_**too cute!!**_

**Hidan: *Shrugs and walks up to Pali* *Hugs Pali***

***Hugs back***

***VERY tightly***

**Pein: *Looks up from work* Paligirl101 does not own us, and we do not own ourselves. **

* * *

Before

_"No! No- I-I I mean.. I.." He sighed, "Me and Hinata were nothing. She just wanted someone to be with so that she could prove to Neji that she was independent. All it was was a couple more 'get-togethers' without Shino and Lovey-Dovey talk in public. We're like best friends, I could never touch Hinata. The thing is.. I have a thing for Ino, too. Hinata knows about it. We 'Broke-Up' because I was caught flirting with some tourists. Tenten caught me and told Neji, so I had to end the relationship. Anyways, Hinata's into Naruto."_

_"So, you're not back together?"_

_"No, we're just normal friends. But we wanna stay 'together' for a couple more weeks, then BOOM, we'll end it all and be normal friends."_

_"Whoa.."_

_"But now I know everything. Thanks Kura! Ill talk to Ino and Hinata! Bye!"_

_"..Bye.." But he was long gone._

_**Some Monologue! **__Inner complained._

_Tell me about it!_

Now

It was 8:45 a.m when Sakura got out of the Mini-Market, with Kankuro whom was holding 3 more of her bags.

"Huh. That's interesting.."

"Right? Hey, you know FishFace's getting here tomorrow?"

The 17 year old smirked, "This is officially the7th time you told me in a day and a half,SweetHeart."

"Oh, really? Haha. Sorry. Anyways, can I-"

"Borrow my ride? Sure, I'd let you. Will I? No."

"Wh-?"

"Because, little miss Temari got it confiscated by the cops when making out with Shikamaru in it past parking hours in front of the bank."

Sakura LOL'ed.

_Literally._ I mean like, people were _pointing_. Well, that was the tourists. All the locals knew her. Knew that it was normal.

"Oh _Kami_. Really? What are you gonna do now? Will you get it back?"

Kankuro smiled reassuringly and nudged her a bit without dropping the contents in his arms, "Yeah. Don't worry." He sighed, and if is arms weren't busy, he would've streamed a hand through his hair.

"Ah, man. Now I have to take the bus, I guess. Oh well!"

The pair comfortably walked down the street in the direction of her house in complete silence. Kankuro stole a glance of his pink-haired friend; He should ask her out sometime.

If only she were more of a girl by just 10%, she might say yes. The temporarily depressed teenager mentally groaned out in frustration; why did she do this to him?!

Seriously, sometimes, he just _really_ wanted to say, 'Screw this!' and make out with her!

If only she wasn't such a goddarned _guy_. I mean like, she probably had a six-pack for freak's sake! The Hell?!

The worst part: She knew.

She knew he had feelings for her, but she just acted casual around him. Like normal friends, but he was able to read the hidden clues. The body language. He read them clearly. It all just literally read, 'I know your secret. I'm not dense.' But she just didn't _do_ anything about it.

Ah, well. Life for him wasn't exactly all rainbows and sunshine, but being a close friend would do.

"Need me to bring the stuff up?"

"No, thanks anyways."

"Alright," He put the things on her doorstep, "Later, Sakura."

"Bye, Kitty."

She watched as he jogged away towards iHop.

_I can swear to ya, he's just like Chouji. Eating nonstop._

**Yeah, but Chouji gets bigger, Kankuro doesn't. **

Sakura sighed as she entered the house.

"Hey, girls!" Sakura found them on the couch watching TV and munching on chips.

"Hey, Sakura!"

"The house looks great! Thanks! C'mere and get your paychecks!"

"We want them in cash, please!"

"Of course, Ayame!" Sakura giggled as she pulled out her wallet.

"Twenty for you, and twenty for you. Alright?"

The young redheads smiled big and wide, "Thanks, Sakura!" They chimed together.

"Alright, now don't cause your mother any trouble, you got that?"

They both nodded furiously, "Sure thing! Bye!"

"Bye." And with that the girls bounced away like the hyperactive bunnies they really were.

"Alright. Next on the list was to get gossip from Ino, but I think she's a bit busy with Kiba right now..hehe.." She wondered out loud as she put away all the things.

She turned to the 'memory' table that held all these pictures, souveniers and other things. The table wasn't too big, but it was long and stuck to the wall. The wall it stuck on was also filled with pictures.

She picked up the stuffed Shamu whale which was supposed to be black and white, but thanks to Kisame (which this is also from) and spray paint, it was all blue, and had cut out 'teeth' from paper stuck to the opened mouth.

**FLASHBACK**

"_I'm really, _really_ sorry, love." The large man hugged her as they watched that big fat fish swim around in the tank. They were in that underground place, where you see things from underwater._

"_I didn't mean to. I swear."If possible, he hugged her tighter._

"_No. I'm mad at you, Kisame! I cant believe you're so blind!" she complained, trying her best to push him away._

_No luck._

"_No you're not!" He teased, "You _want_ to be mad at me. But you know you cant, Saku." He leaned his head down a bit to rest his cheek on her head._

_The whale did some backflip. But Sakura couldn't care less; Kisame had drank alll her lemonade! _

"_Ill buy you another one~" He sing-songed, smirk in place. He hugged her tighter._

"_But that one tasted good! You _knew_ I wanted it! I told you: 3 sips!"_

_He chuckled, "Sakura, I took 1 gulp." _

"_That's not the point! You finished it, and its burning like _Hell!_"_

_He let go abruptly, therefore surprising her. _

…

"_Are you really that hot?"_

"_Y-yes."_

_My _God_, he had world's most serious face on. Oh my, was he really mad?_

"_Would you do anything to cool off?"_

"_Pretty much, yeah.."_

_He smiled evilly, "Well then, come on." Kisame grabbed her tiny hand in his larger one and pulled her up and out into the summer Florida heat. _

"_Wh-where are we going?"_

"_Don't worry, I've gotcha." _

_They were walking out of the show area and were now passing the souvenir stores. Was he gonna buy her another drink?_

_Suddenly, large hands positioned themselves on her waist and swiftly picked her up and on his shoulders._

_Surprised, she let out a squeak, and then understood what was happening. She was now sitting on his shoulders, hands in his thick blue hair, and they were headed towards- OH! _

_Oh my Kami! Yes! Yes! Those beloved fans that sprayed water at the same time! He was taking her there! Oh thank you, Kami, for giving her such a great brother! Sakura swore she'd do anything for hi-_

_((Splat!))_

_Sakura, dumbfoundd, found herself laying in _ice._ That jerk dropped her in one of those barrel-shaped things that were filled to the brim with cool ice and bottled drinks-_

_Ice._

_Cool Ice._

_She was literally _in_ a barrel of ice._

"_Oh! Kisame! If you werent so sweaty, id kiss you right here! I love you!" _

_He laughed as she swung her legs back and forth on the side of the container. She stuck her arms as deep as they would go in that cherished heap of heaven. Kisame watched as his sister's face glowed with pure bliss. He ruffled her hair, got two handfuls of ice, and stuck them into his shirt, rubbed them on his arms and face, and slipped a couple down his short-clad legs._

"_I love you too, sweetie."_

"_H-hey! What are you-?! Miss?! That's for beverages _only!_" Kisame glared at the intruder; owner of the little store-thingy he supposed._

"_My sister wants to cool off." He sneered, pointy teeth showing slightly, but that was enough for the man to nod furiously and back away_

"_R-right!S-sorry! Excuse me!" He laughed nervously before running back to wherever he came from._

_Kisame's gaze caught a souvenir store; it had stuffed Killer Whales everywhere in various sizes. A particular one with a rather pointy fin on top caught his eye._

_He murmured a quick, "Be right back," as he kissed her forehead before jogging to the store._

_12 minutes later, Kisame returned with a, once-upon-a-time, Killer Whale which was spray-painted blue, and had little fangs coming out of the open mouth made out of paper. It was colored beige, so she was guessing it was from their map. Sakura's eyes adjusted to the..shark whale? Killer shark?_

"_For me?" She extracted an arm from the ice to point at the Shamu Shark._

"_Yup." He nudged it into her face, "Rawr."_

_She squealed in delight as she snatched it from him, "Eeee! Thank you!" She reached for the collar of his shirt, and instead caught the middle part, and tugged not-too-gently forcing him to lean down, and hugged him tightly._

**FLASHBACK**

"So," she put the Killer Shark back into its rightful spot, "Lets filter the pool."

**With a bag of chips!**


	7. What Happens in NY, Should Stay in NY!

**Oi! My faithful readers! How do you do?! Sorry if I disturbed you with my quite short absence... Heh... *Scratches back of neck***

**Anyways, I can assure you this chapter will be 2000+ words.**

**I promise. In the end of all this, I'll write down how many words I made.**

_Important_: I was wondering, should I make this a series? I mean like, each Akatsuki member has their own story where they are in relationships (of any kind) with Sakura.

For example, this story is the one where Kisame and Sakura are in a brother-sister relationship since childhood. Another story would be Hidan and Sakura with a whole new and different storyline and events. Of course, I'll be putting up a poll, and if the answer is yes, I'll finish this story up and hopefully get to the next ones. Each member would get their story with Sakura. (All ten – It could be 11 if you want MadaraXSakura; I'd do any pairing)

**Disclaimer: **_I, Paligirl101, do not own _Naruto _or the _Associated Press. _Also, "Patricia Colee" is a made up character, and so are Nadeshiko and Ayame. _

Before

_"So," she put the Killer Shark back into its rightful spot, "Lets filter the pool."_

_**With a bag of chips!**_

Now

**New York City, New York**

**9:15 A.M**

The room was eerily quiet. The only sound was the rustling of the fabric and the occasionally bumping of the hangers. Deep pools of black ink gazed over his work; He was done. A slim hand reached out to quickly look through his packed belongings.

2 pairs of flannel pajama pants, 7-9 pairs of jogging pants, a few jeans, swimming trunks, his black beach towel with the Uchiha crest on it, 25 T-shirts, 3 light hoodies and a majority of socks and undergarments. He was going to take a few pairs of sneakers including his favorite black and gray checkered Vans. Oh, how he loved his Vans. They were so comfortable and roomy and-

"Hey, man. You ready to go?"

Itachi averted his gaze to his so called "Best Buddy" to glare lightly at him; he had interrupted his train of compliments about his Vans.

Kisame paid his partner no heed; Itachi always glared at him like that. Instead, he looked around to see that the room was quite neat, except for about four or five books on the desk.

"You're taking books? Dude, its _summer_. You're supposed to _burn_ books in this time of the year. Not _willingly read them!_"

"Kisame, I do as I please, and anyways, I need some type of entertainment; plane rides are practically more boring than Sasori and Deidera's arguments. So don't get started," He retorted as the books were put safely into the space in his third bag.

"If you say so… Do you have an extra luggage bag? Deidera said he needed one."

"To put his clay creations in and have them crumple up and dirty my bag? Fuck no."

Kisame laughed, "Alright. C'mon, let's get outta here." And with that the tall teen moved over to pick up two of the bags (the ones that didn't have Itachi's books and Vans), hoist them in his arms, and left the room with a much shorter and leaner Uchiha right behind him. Instead of carrying it, Itachi simply rolled it toward the doorway, out of the one story house and into Kisame's truck.

Itachi's front pocket vibrated as his ringtone softly spilled out of his iPhone.

"Yes?" was the infamous Uchiha's greeting.

Two seconds later Itachi hung up and stuffed the cell phone into his pocket with enough force to pull his pants down by half an inch.

"Deidera?" Kisame guessed. He slammed the trunk closed. The bag in Itachi's possession was small enough to fit in the backseat.

The two entered the vehicle before Itachi nodded, "Idiot." He muttered darkly.

Kisame smirked humorously; He loved it when Itachi was so riled up. It was so much more entertaining.

10 minutes, 85 mph and 3 traffic lights later they arrived at the base. Zetsu was standing on the porch observing the sort-of rusted truck as it parked in the driveway behind a sleek Mercedes. Soon enough, two familiar and expected figures emerged from the truck and unloaded the back.

Hidan came from across the street, rag and bucket in hand. He had been washing his blood red Chevy Corvette.

"You fucking need a new ride, my friend. That shitty excuse for a car is about to collapse."

"Oh, shut up. You know my BMW kicks ass; I just brought my truck since everyone's going to take my ride to the airport tomorrow."

Hidan smacked his gum once loudly, showing his annoyance, "Whatever, seriously. Excuses won't save your reputation. It's not like you have one. Well, maybe you do," he stepped up and onto the porch to pass by all 3, "but I don't think it's as shiny as mine." Hidan kicked the door shut behind him.

"Pathetic bastard."

"Yo, Itachi. What's wrong, man? What crawled up your ass? Hidan's always a stuck-up prick."

"And so are you two!" was the muffled reply from the Jashinist who was now on the second floor, by the sound of it.

The elder Uchiha sighed, "I'm not exactly overjoyed to see my brother again. He did, after all, move to Florida so as not to see me."

"I'm sure he'll ignore you, Itachi. Now please, if you'd step inside, Leader wants to ask some questions." The two nodded to Zetsu and followed him to Pein's office.

They dropped all five bags (three for Itachi, two for Kisame. Kisame's bags are bigger.) outside the large doors before knocking.

"Enter."

They opened the door and filed in. Leader sat behind his large desk with neat stacks of paper and a couple binders atop it. Pein was a senior who had already taken over his late father's business- buying and selling merchandise originated from Mobile, Alabama (The rainiest state in the USA. Just had to throw in that pun!).

"Kisame, have you spoken to Sakura lately?"

"Yesterday."

"Are you sure she is comfortable with this situation?" They all knew the true meaning behind his words, '_Are you sure she won't crack under the pressure of having the burden of ten people, seven of which are the reckless, immature, demented psychopaths that are in my organization, excluding yourself?'_

"Yes."

"Very well then. Zetsu, go make sure that everyone is done packing. And don't forget, the spare key to Hidan's room is on top of the doorframe. If need be, lock him in his room tonight. I think it would be for the best."

Zetsu nodded and Kisame smirked at the temporarily valuable information. He was going to mess with Hidan a bit…

"Dismissed. And by the way, someone get Kakuzu in here; he still has to confirm the flight tickets with me."

All three let out a mumbled, "Hai," and left the study.

Itachi immediately tensed after taking a glance at Kisame; he was grinning like a goddamn maniac.

He sighed, "What are you so enthusiastic about, Kisame?"

"Noooothing~" he sing-songed, while slightly tilting his head in a mockery of innocence.

The elder Uchiha rolled his eyes slightly and took a spot next to Sasori on the couch, "_Right_".

"_Any_ways, whatcha watchin'?" Kisame plopped himself onto the other couch where Konan was seated not-too-politely on the armrest.

Without turning to answer, she simply answered, "News. Three banks in North Carolina were robbed then burnt to ashes in less than 2 days."

"Cops believe it's the same people." Zetsu added, as he got up from his spot on the leaning on the back of the couch to look for Kakuzu. Not long after, Deidera clumsily strolled in with a Coke can in his hand and crashed onto the floor, his back in between Sasori's and Itachi's legs.

Deidera popped open his Coca Cola, eyes not leaving the screen. Such a dangerous thing, it was. It held the complete picture of elegance and frankness, however, deep within the walls –no pun intended—was a deadly liquid filled with caffeine.

Ah, yes. A definite No-No for someone like Dei-Kun, but where were his parents to stop him? Where they've been for 11 years now, of course- the grave.

"_And now, as you can clearly see behind me, are the horrid results of the recent catastrophe. The whole two story building has inconveniently collapsed. Investigators are still trying to comprehend how these culprits were able to rob and burn down all three banks in less than six hours. Maybe they work in groups? However, after some very hard and careful investigating, detectives say that there _was_ in fact, a code or pattern. _

"_As it may seem, the criminals broke into, robbed, and obviously burned the buildings during closing time. This and the fact of burning the evidence of their identities may add up to a conclusion: we are dealing with inexperienced robbers. _

"_They give the impression of both mercilessness and cowardice. Investigators are using this as an advantage and have high hopes of catching these hostile bandits. _

"_Until next time, this is Patricia Coleen; Raleigh, North Carolina; the Associated Press."_

"_Shit_, dude." Hidan just sat there on the edge of the coffee table with his mouth open a bit; that was _awesome_.

"Did you fucking see how that building practically turned to ash?! Those Jashindamned crooks have gotta be damn amazing to do that!" He was already standing on the coffee table as his hands made weird gestures to prove his point, "Why can't our shitty leader give us cooler missions like _that," _an envious finger pointed at the TV screen which was now showing a commercial for some ice cream sundae that you could get from McDonald's, "instead of those crappy assignments that have us going to some loser's office and threaten to take his money if he doesn't cooperate with us!"

"Tell me about it, un!" Deidera now boosted with energy and determination.

"I'm fucking telling you, bitch!"

Deidera glared at him, "Not literally, un. It's a figure of speech, dork!"

"Both of you are fools, now _move_! You're in the way; I need to know what's going on financial-wise."

"Kakuzu, did you meet with Leader?"

Kakuzu turned his head slightly to look Itachi in the face as he settled down on a chair he dragged in from the kitchen, "Yeah..." His gaze snapped back at the two dimwits who dared to interrupt the business hour on the News Channel, "I thought I told you two boneheaded morons to move."

"I ain't going anywhere, you greedy bastard!"

Obviously, Deidera disagreed with that rather bold statement and moved to collapse onto another part of the ground. Far, _far_ away from Kakuzu and his demonic aura.

"You and your foul mouth better scoot somewhere else; I'll really hurt you, Hidan." Kakuzu's annoyance and anger were practically rolling off of him in freaking _waves_.

"I'd fucking like to see you try, you half-witted boob!" Hidan smirked victoriously at Kakuzu's expression. Boy was this fun.

Hidan opened his shameful mouth to spout out something arrogant and disgraceful, but was suddenly cut short as large and strong hand enclosed around his neck and his back was crashing into the television.

No one dared to move as they watched the ugly but, sadly, normal scene before them. The TV was now uselessly and helplessly laying on the ground, quite a couple of feet away from its rightful spot on its stand. Hidan was being pushed against the window that went from floor to ceiling with one hand cutting him off from air, and another cocked back ready to punch the Jashinist. And boy, did Kakuzu punch him hard.

A sickening crack(s) was heard, but maybe that was the glass shattering, or Hidan landing on the statue of a fish on the side of the house he was pushed out of, or simply Hidan's jaw maliciously breaking.

Kakuzu's demeanor effectively cooled as everything silenced; Hidan hadn't made a sound other than a few grunts.

Slowly, the abused body sat upright with arms helping him to not fall over, and, after a few seconds, Hidan unexpectedly shot out from his position, through the broken glass and tackled Kakuzu to the ground. They punched, kicked, grunted, bonked and even spit (in Hidan's case) at each other until Pein and Zetsu came running down to the representation given to them. It was almost as if there was a damn arrow pointing at the two squabbling at each other with bright flashy lights that read, _'This is what you get for allowing a nut jobs into your organization.'_

"Enough!"

Unfortunately, the fighting didn't stop. In fact, the tension increased and it seemed as if the hits that were being sent held more force than before. Seeing this as an unspoken demand, Kisame got up and unsuccessfully tried to pull Hidan off of Kakuzu.

Blood.

Fuck, this was bad! Everyone came over to rip the two aggressive beasts apart.

**47 minutes later – Pein's office**

"I don't want something like this happening again, or at least not in our time away; we must give a good impression there. Understood?"

No one showed signs of compliance, but no one disagreed, so that counted as a positive for Pein.

"Good. And seeing as though the broken glass was your doing, Kakuzu, you have to pay for it."

"Fine, but I'm not paying for anything else."

"Eh?! Wha 'bout ze table, tee-bee and cowth?! I'm not payin' fow zem!" Hidan obviously couldn't speak correctly with a fractured jaw. Psh, he'd be all good as new by tomorrow.

"May I remind you that it was _your_ aggressiveness that damaged the rest?"

"Nuh-uh! Wha bout ze tee-bee?!"

"I caused it to fall; your blindness caused you to step in it."

Hidan growled, Kakuzu kept a straight face, and Pein rubbed his temples; this was going to be a _long _day…

**Yay! 2,344 words! (excluding this A/N)**

**I'm so sorry! They didn't meet here! I really wanted them to meet!!**

**But I put in some action to make up for it! Finally, some time in New York!**

**Just as a side note, Whitefang245 was the beta for this chapter! Yay!**


	8. Poll Result

****No, it's not a chapter.

But, visit my profile and you'll find that the first chapter of **Of Old Friends and Surfboards: Rewrite** now exists.

...you should go check it out, losers. lessthanthree

33B~


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